Greetings, dear friend! It’s that time of year again. The Jenn’s-annual-blog-post-and-site-refresh time of year. Rejoice! In the fine tradition of lame wanna-be bloggers every year, I have decided to make my New Year’s blog post about my personal motivational word for 2020. That word is:
Retrospection
noun
The action of looking back on or reviewing past events or situations, especially those in one’s own life.
Playing off the idea that hindsight is 20/20, what better year than 2020 to look back at my last 40 (I know, right?) years of life and think about what has worked for me, what hasn’t, and where I’d like the next 40 to take me. I haven’t fully worked through exactly what that means to me yet (that’s why it’s a word of the YEAR) but for the time being, here are a few of my focus points.
Adding the tentative: socialize.
I have always struggled with socializing. I’ve never had many friends and the ones I do have are intermittent at best. I’m not the kind of person who chats daily (or weekly (or even monthly)) with my friends. I don’t know how to hold conversations with regular adult people. I would say that ~20 years of being a stay-at-home mom, and then homeschooling mom, and then work-from-home mom hasn’t helped, but honestly I wasn’t any good at this junk before I had kids either.
So my first focus point for 2020 is adding in checkpoints for socializing. I don’t know whether this might take the form of IRL getting-out-and-interacting stuff, or taking back up youtubing, or just making a point of being more active on social media. But especially since I have one kiddo graduating high school this year and another working on getting his drivers licence and getting out into the world, now seems as good a time as any.
Keeping the positive: revitalize.
About 15 years ago, I started feeling a desire to begin dressing more modestly. I have been through a vast number of iterations since then; from cape dresses and prayer kapps to long sleeves, maxi skirts, and tichels. And during that time, maybe just by taking that first step of obedience, I entered a period of great spiritual growth. It was amazing!
But then the naysayers and my own doubting-Thomasness started creeping in. The pastor of the church we were attending asked me to stop coming to church dressing “differently” because it was making the other congregants uncomfortable. We found a new church but I still had to deal with a lot of gossiping and negative comments. And I caved.
Over 10 years have passed since then and I’ve never felt “right” about my decision. So I want to get right with my choices again. For my second focus point, I am going back to how I’m comfortable dressing and, I guess courtesy of point 1 above, I really don’t need to worry about what anyone else thinks about it. I’m also going to be more dilligent about prioritizing my daily bible time and getting to church regularly even when I really don’t feel like it. Unless it’s below -30°C outside. I don’t mess around with that nonsense.
Turfing the negative: minimize.
Clutter. Not just clutter, trash. My house is awash in it. We’re not hoarders or anything but, realistically, I do have a restrictive physical disability that significantly limits my housekeeping abilities. Which was fine for a long time because, thankfully, the hubby would pick up much of the slack. Until his car accident. Now he’s in the same boat I am. That is, hooped.
Things have been slowly escalating for a long time as more and more things have crept into the house, with very few creeping back out again. It drives me absolutely insane. It worsens the depression I already struggle with, as well as my physical health courtesy of both asthma and allergies to basically every substance know to humankind. I cannot keep living like this. Something has got to go. And, honestly, we have way more junk than any one family even needs. I think that means this third focus point is going to have to take priority on my to-do list for immediate and drastic action.
Anyhoo, I suppose that’s it for now. I’m terrible at gracefully wrapping up a blog post so I guess it’s a good thing I only do this once a year, eh? I’m curious, though. What’s your personal motivational word for 2020 and how do you plan to implement it into your everyday life? Let me know!
Blessings,
Jenn ♡
P.S. Here’s the link to last year’s annual New Year’s Blog post in case you have insomnia or you’re at an airport and your flight’s been delayed.